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A guide to help you through a conversation with a suicidal customer.

Model

Guide

Breath - to focus

  • It can be hard to hear so take a breath
  • Place both feet on the ground, sit back on your chair and try to relax your body.

Listen actively - to understand

  • Always take what the customer is saying seriously. Listen out for signs of an immediate threat to life or harm.
  • If it helps, close your eyes and simply listen. If it's helpful to take notes, do so. But do nothing else while the customer is talking.
  • Let the customer talk, avoid interrupting or pre-empting what they're about to say.

Ask - to understand

Myth - Talking to someone about their suicidal thoughts doesn't make them more likely to end their life. 

  • “Where are you now?”
  • “Is there anyone you can call or speak to?”
  • “What’s happened to lead you to how you’re feeling?”
  • “Is there anything I can do which will help you now?”
  • “Have you made any plans to end your life?”
  • “Have you felt like this before?”
  • “What have you done before which helped you when you’ve had these feelings/thoughts?”

Keep safe

Tips

  • Keep the customer talking. It may ease the emotional burden and give them time to calm down.
  • Validate how they feel, "I can hear how much pain you're in" or "I can't begin to imagine what you're going through"
  • Do they have a crisis plan? If they do, what does it say to do? Who does it say to contact?
  • Encourage them to wait. If they've made their decision, there's no hurry. Others who have waited have found another way forward.
  • Ask if they could give others a chance to find a way forward for them. Allow others to care for them, just as they would for others.  Is there anything you can do to help them?
  • ​​​​​​​Remind them of reasons to live. Is there someone special to them, or pets in their life that need them? Things that give them joy in the present (sights, sounds, tastes or places). Things they'd like to do or places they'd like to visit​​​​​​​​​​​​​​
  • – “I’m worried about what you’ve told me, what can I do to keep you safe?”

Suggestions
“It may be helpful to speak to someone who may be able to provide the right emotional help you need. Have you thought of speaking to the Samaritans? Or maybe another listening organisation?”

  • “Try not to think about the future, just focus on getting through today”​​​
  • “Can you get yourself to a family or friends house? Does anyone live nearby?”
  • “Would you like me to call you back at a later time and see if you’re feeling any better?”​​​
  • “Have you got a safety plan?” and "what does your safety plan say?"​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

End - with a summary

So long as customer safety is addressed, and if it's possible to do so, we should end the call with a summary. 

  • “Before we finish can I ask how you're feeling now?”
  • “What are you going to do after this call?”
  • “I'll call you tomorrow to see how you're feeling”